Fix It Friday: A Touchy Topic?

     Let's face it, the US has an issue with illegal immigration. Despite the fact that these immigrants do the jobs that we lazy Americans refuse to do, most people still dislike them. So let's hash out a ridiculously simple way to stop the illicit flow.

1. Dig a 20-foot ditch along the US's border with Mexico.
2. Embed electrified barbed wire along ditch walls.
3. Conceal ditch.
4. Build 20-foot walls on either side of ditch.
5. Embed electrified barbed wire along walls, and extend to 5 feet above top of walls.
6. Pull troops out of the Middle East. They aren't needed there anyway, and we can use them for this.
7. Post troops as sentries on southern wall, armed with tear gas and rifles.
8. Now that the land route is closed off, turn attention to all likely water routes (sea borders).
9. Use more troops as sentries.
10. If illegal immigrants continue to push further north before coming ashore, post more troops further north.
11. Set up "troop trading" so that the same people aren't watching the same area all the time.

My Opinions Are Invalid

     I had to take an exit survey for my online ethics class. (Does anyone else see the irony in an online ethics class? Anyone?) I assumed that my answers would be used to help improve the class. There were 5 questions, one of them an open-ended "Would you recommend this class?" thing. That one must be graded by the teacher, hence the "Needs Grading." The other four were statements about the class, which you can see in the picture, and then four options:

• True
• False
• Don't know
• No answer

     I thought honest answers were good! I even gave two positive answers about the teacher. There was an option to review answers after submission, which I did to make sure the assignment went through. (It's gone wonky on me before.) When I did, this is what I saw.

Well, shit.

Love Is Hard Sometimes

Literally.

Wow-You're-Hot Wednesday: Harrison Ford

     They just keep aging. I know, there's something wrong with me. I'm just fine with that, though, because it lets me enjoy cute men.

     Heck yes. HECK yes. This man is just epic. I almost want him to be my grandfather, but then my thoughts would be wildly inappropriate. I do seem to be a bit...old school?...when it comes to Harrison Ford. The Han/Indy days were (in my opinion, at least) his hottest.

Don't argue with me. I'm right.

     Besides looking good, this guy is just all-around great. He owns and flies planes, sometimes using them to rescue people. When I "fall" and break both legs during a hike in Wyoming, you'll know why; how awesome would it be to be rescued by Harrison Ford? (Answer: super awesome.) He's also donated a good chunk of land as a nature reserve, and he's been banned from Tibet and China.

太他媽的你，中國。

Commence the squee.

反正我讨厌中国人的食物。

I'll just leave this here.
Yes, it's the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

     On a slightly related note, I'm quite fascinated by these pictures. They actually distracted me from finding more pictures for this post. Some of them are sooooo cute! You'll probably see at least a couple of those guys here, too.

Mon aéroglisseur est plein d'anguilles!

     This made my entire week. Life would be a lot better if everyone watched more Monty Python sketches. There's a lot to be learned from British humor. If you're having trouble with the title of this post, go here. And I'll leave it up to you to figure out which guy(s) this post's label refers to.

Why I Hate the World Today

     Have you ever been in one of those moods where every little thing pisses you off? I've been raging all day against various things; when one situation is resolved/left behind, something else comes up to take its place. This happens from time to time. It's never fun to deal with, but I figured that complaining might help. I'll just leave a fun little list here.

1. My little sister got all pissy when I tried to help her with her homework. She had misinterpreted the questions, so I was explaining to her what they actually wanted. She refused to listen. I don't like when that happens.


2. My oldest brother wouldn't shut up at our brother's basketball game. (Note to self: Post something to explain the siblings.) The kid was sitting beside me, shrieking and otherwise being obnoxious. Any attempt to quiet him down resulted in "No, you shut up. You're annoying me." What the hell? I hadn't said anything to him before that!


3. Family dinner tonight consisted of arguing over which restaurant to go to, then not going to what we decided on and no one getting what they wanted. As usual. Why does this always surprise me?


4. This Facebook status from one of my friends:
   
   This is just poor logic. As I pointed out in a comment (because I'm an ass), you can see and touch a brain. Sure, the student couldn't see the professor's brain right then and there, but it is possible. God, on the other hand, is unseeable and untouchable, hence faith.


5. None of the radio stations on Grooveshark play anything good.


6. Some Neanderthal on YouTube barged into a previous comment-discussion between me and another user. The original discussion centered around me being an idiot who made many grammatical errors. Now, when I'm putting forth an argument, I make sure my spelling and grammar are 100% accurate. After all, I don't want to negate my point by looking stupid. Therefore, I know for a fact that I had no errors. The latecomer to the party helpfully pointed out that
   
   "spelling doesnt fucking matter on the internet u fucking cunt so stop bragging about yourself thinking your badass bc you spell shit right you uptight mother fucker.... oh and dont comment on how my spelling is bad bc you need back yourself up or some shit,bc like i said people spell bad on the internet on purpose...retard".
   
   Riiiiiight. Here, let me translate that for you: "I failed most of my English classes in school, and I spend most nights masturbating alone to Internet porn."


7. I can't figure out whether to capitalize the "the" in this post's title.


8. The above complaint makes complaint #6 look stupid.


9. Most of the time, the users on the forum I frequent are pretty cool. We make jokes, we ponder (somewhat) scientific questions, and life is good. However, a couple people are insufferable idiots. If I haven't made it clear by now, I hate dealing with people who don't use their brains. The guy who made it to this list is obsessed with pseudo-scientific things like psychics. These topics of discussion are banned on the forum (mainly because they're bullshit) but he frequently brings them up anyway. His latest thread deals with him mysteriously experiencing the same pains and illnesses as his friends and family (who are totally not with him, guys).

     If this doesn't stop, I'm going to jab someone's eyes out. With a rusty key. I swear to God...whose existence is neither proven nor negated by the existence of someone's brain.

Music Monday: Appalachia Waltz

     I'm switching things up a little bit today. This is an instrumental piece. No words. You can make up your own, if you really need words to enjoy a song. Yo-Yo Ma plays in this. It's...gahhhh. Just listen.

     I've lived in Appalachia all my life. Not that I'm biased or anything, but this is the most beautiful area of the country. Sure, other places are beautiful, but this is as close as you can get to Heaven without dying. Every time I hear this song, my heart gets all...soft. I usually try to be logical and unemotional, but this song makes my soul happy. Wow, I sound really weird now. I'm gonna go hug a mountain and rock a bunny to sleep.