Music Monday: Yay Drinking!

     Let me clear something up before I go any farther. I don't drink. Besides the fact that I'm underage, I also dislike what drinking can do to a person. If you drink, cool. Have fun with that. Any references to me consuming any alcohol (or drugs) are jokes. Got it? Great.

     Now, this week's MM post isn't about a particular artist, or even a particular song. It does have to do with music, though, and it makes me giggle. That means it's good enough to be a MM post. I thoroughly enjoy reading through the articles over at Lifehacker. Recently they did one about Drinkify, a great toy...I mean, um, tool. Basically, you tell it what music you're listening to, and it tells you what to drink while listening. Sure, it's great for setting the mood. Being super-immature, I use it purely for my amusement. It gives some pretty funny suggestions.

This is when I start laughing so hard that I pee myself.

     Yes, forget drinking. If you're forced to listen to Barney songs, you need to get high. There is a drink that combines soda and THC; could that be what they're going for?

I think not.

     I thought that, surely, some music would be immune to Drinkify's evil powers. After all, kids might want to find the right juice to go with their...whatever small children listen to now. Walkmans are dead, aren't they? I miss my hot pink Walkman. Anyway, I put in a few younger "artists" to see what the site would come up with.

So far, so good.

It's Friday, Friday, gotta drown out Friday...

I'm hoping this one is for the parents.
I can see where they got the bourbon, though.
I'm pretty sure there's a Wiggles song about Rip van Winkle.

     Right, so that theory was shot down. But certainly Christian bands would be immune...right? Please, for the love of all that is good in the world...it's Jesus we're talking about!

You drink AND go to church? You must be a hillbilly.

Lord, please bless this rum, and let it nourish our bodies. May we
show others that Christians are still bitchin. Amen.

     Some of these defy logic. Imagine you're listening to some calm classical music. What are you drinking? Probably wine, right?

Nope. Bottled water. How exciting.

     Here are some more that I found amusing. I'll just put them in itty-bitty form down here, and you can click on them to make them bigger! Yay, technology! (Note the difference between Ben Folds alone, below, and Ben Folds with the band, above.)

Stay classy, Inigo.

This one makes perfect sense.

Are You Insane, Too?

     First things first: that tiny picture up there shows the top URLs that referred you people to this humble little blog as of Wednesday. I got curious, so I paid a visit to these sites. After all, anything that sends people my way is good, right? Well, let's just say I'm a bit wary of who is visiting my blog.

     The first one refuses to load, which might just be a good thing. The second URL, bllog.tk, comes up with a notification that the site and domain have been suspended. Why? "...because of abuse or copyright reasons." Oh, that doesn't make me feel uncomfortable at all. Third on the list is a fishing blog. This just confuses me. I'm not an avid fisher, and I don't think I've mentioned fishing at all before this post. I skimmed a few of their recent posts, and nothing mentions my blog. How that one person got from there to here, I don't think I'll ever figure out. Only the last URL is any good as a blog referral.

     Now that I'm questioning the sanity of those who stumble upon AJOAL, I feel a lot better about posting random stuff. That said, I found this fun site that takes all your previous tweets and mashes words from them into a tweet that sounds like you've done a line of coke. I put in my Twitter name and a couple of my friends', and this is what the site spit out:

This is every day of my life.

Do I sense some desperation now?

Yes, please don't tell anyone exactly what it is. SPOILER ALERT:
It's a dorm.

Someone's having an existential crisis...

     On a side note, yes, I'm on Twitter. However, I'm never on there enough to gain any followers besides my friends, and I hardly ever actually tweet. It's more along the lines of "Fine, I'll do it so you guys will shut up." Now, when you can't sleep, and it's 3 AM, and you've had a rough day, these little conglomerations of nonsense can seem pretty hilarious. In the light of day, with some rest...not so much. My suggestion? Pull an all-nighter, then come back and reread these. You'll pee yourself.

Wow-You're-Hot Wednesday: Anderson Cooper

     I was torn while deciding who to write about this week. See, I had promised myself -- I basically made an Unbreakable Vow -- that I'd just go in order. I have my pretty list of pretty guys, so why deviate? That would just get me all sorts of confused. For the past few days, though, I've been listening to (and more than mildly Internet-stalking) Ben Folds constantly. It crossed my mind to just make this week all about him, and that's when the internal war began. Follow predetermined rules, or give in to the crazed mini-obsession?

     Ultimately, the side for following the rules won out. How sad. Since the only order on the list is train-of-thought, BF is last. After all, it's only been a few days since I "discovered" his awesomeness. If I think about this betrayal anymore, I'll start feeling super-awful, so let's move on. Keeping with the older guy theme, this one's 26 years older than me! Yay! Bonus: He's gay. Well, he'd be officially gay if he weren't so private with his private life. Pshh.

This picture is in the dictionary
under "silver fox."

     Yes, Anderson Cooper. Let it be known: If you want me to think you're hot, you should be older than my dad, and being gay will raise your chances. Of course, I doubt gay guys care which girls think they're hot. I lead such a pathetic existence!

     For those of you who don't know, Andy here hosts a daytime talk show and a CNN news program. I've never watched either of those. Really, the only things I know about him (besides his yummy looks) come from Wikipedia and instances when Stephen Colbert mocks him. Poor Andy. His goofs are cute, though, see? And he can make fun of himself.

     He also sings Friday here:

     Okay, that's enough video. Here are some pictures. Enjoy...or else.

"Hey, let's go sit in the road!"
"Only if you take my picture."

Here, Anderson is told about the existence of bronies.

It looks like he's in the middle of an interrogation.
Now, is he the good cop, or the bad cop?

Mmm, look at those arms.

This reminds me of those movie posters. You know, the ones
with the vaguely famous lead actor, about obscure
political drama?

The caption here makes me giggle. A lot.

Roleplaying on Omegle

     With Omegle's new spy system, the chances of perversion are a lot higher. Not only do you have to contend with creepy chat partners, but now you also have to sift through gems like "lol sexchat plz". Occasionally you'll get an actual, thought-provoking question. That's far from the norm, of course. Today, however, I came across this adorable little prompt. I'm glad my chat partner played along.

=)

Music Monday: Effington

     There are a handful of singers out there whose voices have quite an interesting effect on me. These guys (they're always guys; I haven't figured out why) can completely mellow me out. Anything that comes out of their mouths throws this blanket of calm over me. It's great. When I'm in my little pit of despair, all I have to do is put on some tunes, and I'm brought back up to the level of normal people.

     One of these guys is Ben Folds. I mentioned in last weeks Music Monday post that I enjoy watching The Sing-Off, right? (Yes, I did.) Well, he's one of the judges. I swear, that show takes everything I've already seen and reminds me of how awesome it is. That was such a pretty paragraph. I'm running on 2 hours of sleep here; work with me.

     Folds always seemed like one of those musicians that my dad would listen to. That's not my commentary on my father's musical taste, but on Folds' (Folds's? Foldssss's's''s!)...oldness. Now I sound mean. Look, the guy's older than my parents and has been active in the music industry since before I was born. He's old. Deal with it. (I've already explained my "thing" for older guys, so this should in no way be held against him. Heheh...)

     Enough with the drivel; here's this week's song:

     You can probably tell by now that I'm slightly immature. The use of "effing" in this song never fails to make me giggle. I'm giggling right now, and I'm not even listening to the song. Heheheh, effing...it's okay, normal people do it too.

     Songs this song reminds me of:

1. The theme from The Simpsons
2. Pokemon battle music
3. A Praise Chorus by Jimmy Eat World
4. Something from Disney that I can't quite remember
5. Weasel Stomping Day by Weird Al
6. The theme from Peanuts

     Yes, I expect you to go listen to all of those. I have no clue why my mind makes the jumps it does. That fun list means that the mental "movie" I've come up with for Effington is an unholy conglomeration of yellow people, claymation, and mutated animals. So, it's basically like the rest of my thoughts.

     The first verse of this song mirrors exactly my train of thought on car trips. If there's anything slightly strange about a town's name, I judge everyone in that town for it. It doesn't help that I'm quite dense sometimes; I frequently have to remind myself that the sign labelled "Farmer's Sharkey" is referring to 2 different towns. Why does the farmer own a shark? Is he a shark farmer? He raises sharks and trains them to farm, doesn't he?

     Then again, who hasn't wondered what would happen if they strayed from the expected path? I could stop driving down this interstate and check out this little town. What would I find? I don't want to go where I'm supposed to. I want to go to Effington.

So There's No Need to Worry

     Without certain (probably illegal) software/technology -- I'm not very tech-savvy -- I can't actually get the video or the GIFs on here that I want to show you. As such, you'll have to trust me and follow the links. It's Colbert. Anything Colbert is worth it, I promise.

     Go here first. This is the boiled-down, most-important-info-only version. And it's amazing. The video, of course, has Stephen's voice and other awesome perks. So go watch it next.

     This is one of those things that should be worrisome, but really isn't once you think about it. We all die. It's inevitable. Might as well enjoy the ride, right? I love that he can do something to be funny, but have a deeper, more serious meaning.

Inter-species Dice Play

This cat didn't want to talk to me.
Maybe it didn't know human words.
I won the game.